But Which One Should I Choose? There Are a Hundred Things I Could Do
You might have several things you want to work on. That’s great! For now, I encourage you to choose one. You can use the Mindset Reset process again and again, anytime, with any goal. The more you do each of these Moti-Minutes, the more they’ll get wired into your brain and body, so it’ll feel more natural over time.
For now, I encourage you to choose one goal for your first Pearl.
What is it?
Let’s make sure this goal has two important qualities. We want your Pearl to be:
| 1. |
Meaningful. This one might seem obvious, but so many people make the mistake of pursing a goal when their heart’s not in it. They go after something they think they should want, or something their spouse/parents/children/friends want for them. I’ve worked with countless people who have gotten stuck somewhere in life because they went after—and often achieved—a goal that wasn’t truly, deeply meaningful to them, that didn’t come from their core.
In other words, your Pearl should be something that really lights you up. If you’re considering “organizing my file cabinet” as a Pearl goal, well, it’s not my place to say that’s boring, but I invite you to rethink it. Your Pearl should be exciting. It should make you smile just thinking about it. I’ll even go so far as to say it should scare you a little bit. That’s how you know it’s meaningful.
It should also be…
| 2. |
Specific. Making your Pearl specific is one of the best ways to make sure you actually achieve it. Often, when people set a goal, they keep it vague. I want to lose weight. I want to be happier. I want to start a business. I want to be a writer. Those are all great things to want, but the problem is this: how will you know when you’ve achieved them? Each of those things is an abstract, multifaceted concept. We want to break your Pearl down into clear, explicit parameters.
There are two reasons for this: One, because it’s going to help you take real, effective action to get there. The clearer you are in your goal, the clearer the steps will be that you need to take.
Reason #2 is so you’ll know when you get there. Even if someone achieves a vague goal, like losing weight, they don’t always feel like they did. They still feel the same as before they started. We don’t want that. Instead, we want to know exactly when we’ve achieved our goal, so we can celebrate it. It’s the difference between having a finish line that we can actually cross, and a finish line that constantly moves away from us, no matter how far we run.
A quick word of warning here: don’t get TOO specific. Don’t let your Pearl goal turn into an item on your to-do list. This isn’t about finding an action item you can cross off. We’re looking to find that sweet spot where it’s exciting, yet still clear.
For example, you might translate “I want to be a writer, ” into, “I want to earn my living by writing, ” or, “I want to write a novel. ” Those are great Pearls! An overly specific version of that might be “I will write 5, 000 words by Monday morning. ” That’s not a great Pearl.
Another example, “I want to be happier, ” could become the Pearl, “I want to be excited when I get out of bed in the morning. ”
So now I turn to you. Think of the Pearl you have in mind. Is it:
- Meaningful?
- Specific (and still exciting)?
Tweak your Pearl as much as you need to until it is both those things. I promise that making your Pearl both specific and meaningful will help you enormously.
When you can answer yes to both those questions, you’re ready to move on.
Right about now, you might be thinking about how you’re going to reach your goal and start to get nervous. But don’t go there yet. Don’t worry about how or when you’ll do X, Y, or Z. Each and every time we do a Moti-Minute, I invite you to let go of any worries, fears, to-do lists, concerns, chores you haven’t done—all that stuff.
Anything that stands in your way of focusing—dump it in a bucket. Leave it outside the door and give your full attention to the activity. Don’t worry—all those concerns will still be there when you want to pick them back up (if you want to pick them back up).
For the rest of this book, we’ll take lots of little action steps to get to your Pearl (because, of course, even the biggest goals are just a series of little steps). We’ll also learn fun new ways to take those steps, even—and especially—when the going gets tough. But all that comes later. At this moment, it’s important that you focus on your Pearl in all its new and shiny glory. Feel its energy coursing through you. For me, it’s light, tingly, energizing. Notice how it feels for you. Where do you feel it in your body? How do you carry yourself now that you’re thinking about it? Did you sit up straighter, smile, take a deep refreshing breath? That’s your body responding to this beautiful new idea. Breathe into this feeling. Invite it to stick around for a while.
So often, we tamp down that energy with worries and fears and doubts, thinking those things are somehow more “realistic” than our dreams. But, in reality, that energy is a life force flowing through you. It’s there to help you reach your goal. And, if you stay connected to it, you will.
That’s exactly what we’re going to do now.